Preoccupations

I'm not going to say too much, for fear of jinxing it, but things are looking up. Something that happened within the past couple weeks has breathed new life into me. It's putting butterflies in my stomach. It's making me lightheaded musing on the possibilities. Opportunities. Changes. Everything is too up in the air to talk about it right now, but some serious life changes are in the air. Which direction they go remains to be seen...

In more concrete news, the parents are going to be out of town for New Years, so my brother and I are going to throw a party at the house. You know you wanna come. Also, I'm going to DC at the end of January for Inauguration day. It's gonna be a big awesome party/reunion that will be super-awesome-funtime. Afterwards, I plan on road tripping down to Austin and staying there for a while (length of stay remains to be seen). There's a NASCO Board Meeting in Chicago the first weekend of February, so I'll probably fly up from Austin for that and then come back afterwards. Then, depending on what happens in Austin, I may or may not continue my road trip west to California. Or I might just stay in Austin. That's more up in the air. Suffice to say, a road trip is in the cards, and it's coming up soon.

I'm too excited...... 2009 is going to be quite a year. Anyone else as excited as I am?

The Future and Karma

Tiiiiime to faaaace the chaaange (ch-ch-changes!)

Not posting in about a year leaves a lot to be said... but I'll try to keep it short. It is now August, 2008, and I have completed school, successfully helped a co-op get on its feet, and significantly improved my love life, but I still have yet to find a new job, a new location, a new life. I'm still working at the computer lab (43.5 hours a week), getting ready to move back in with my parents in about a week (whoa! coming up fast!), and sort of half-heartedly searching for a job, but I'm actually feeling pretty good about life at the moment.

Let me tell you a story about karma. The other day, I went down to BTB Cantina to grab a beer and some churros while my bro and his bud Tom scarfed down some serious burritos. When we walked in the Cantina, I noticed that the girl working the register was really cute (I had seen this girl before but never really talked to her). I was pretty high at the moment, so flirting probably wouldn't have worked out too well. But I figured hey, I'll throw a little body language at her, some intonations in my voice, see if she responds. So I try this and what do you know, I feel some positive vibes in her response! Plus she didn't card me for the beer, which is always a good sign :P

So anyways, cute girl aside, we get our food and sit down. I pull out my churros only to notice at the massive amount of cinnamon they had put on them. Cinnamon was flying everywhere! Cinnamon on my shirt, cinnamon on the floor, it was ridiculous. But oh my god it was tasty! Now I'm not sure what BTB's system is with churros. I do know that after we paid the girl working the register went in the back and when she returned she had my churros. So that would logically lead me to the conclusion that it was her who had doused my churros in that sweet sweet sugar. But then I thought to myself, why would the cute girl make churros when there are a couple hispanic guys back there who could do it just as well? And what were their reasons behind the preferential treatment? Did the girl do it cause she thought I was cute? Or did they just do it because it was a slow Monday afternoon? I never came to a conclusion on this question, as I was too high to inquire at the time...

But at any rate, the churros were delicious, and once I had completed my feast I felt the need to leave them a tip, regardless of who was responsible for this good fortune (especially considering how empty the tip jar was). I reach for my wallet and, Damn!, all I have are fives and tens! Anyone have change for a five? No... So I pondered for a while whether the $2 churros were worth a $5 tip, and just when we were about to leave I pounded the rest of my beer (Corona with lime, mmmm), which brought me the clarity to see that they totally deserved a $5 tip. So fuck it, I said, and pulled the bill out of my wallet. Unfortunately, when I went to leave the tip the girl was not around, so I had to give my thanks to the mexican guys in the back. I think they appreciated it.

I left BTB feeling pretty good about myself. I don't leave a tip there all that often, so I kinda felt like I was making up for all the times I had gone there and left the workers nothing. The rest of that evening and the next day went well, if fairly uneventful. I worked, I napped, had a conference call, chilled on the porch for a little while with some old friends, and (this is the only part important to the plot) made plans to go to the lake the next day after work.

So Wednesday rolls around, I get off work, call up my buddies and get ready to roll out to the lake. Silver Lake, to be exact. I drive out to Ben's to meet up with them, we all pile in my convertible and drive over to Max's house to pick him and some food up, and then we hit the road.

The past few days my car has been making strange, fairly loud screeching noises when I turn it on, and a slight burning smell presents itself. These occurrences typically faded away after a couple minutes of driving, but not today. Driving down Dexter road right by Knight's, my engine makes a horrible screeching sound and just goes dead. Power steering fails, the oil light comes on, I really start to smell burning rubber and shit is going down! Thank the stars though, I was going about 35 mph downhill when the car died, and right up at the corner up ahead was an auto repair shop! So I keep rolling down the hill, keeping my momentum up, and muscle the steering wheel to land me right in the middle of the auto shop parking lot. We made it without needing to get a tow! Awesome!

After a few failed attempts at jumping the car, the auto shop guys take the car in and say they'll get it fixed the next day, my buddies and I walk back to Ben's house and pile in his car, drive up to the lake (no disasters this time) and have a dandy old time. We even got to watch a house burn down across the lake! It was quite an exciting day in all. But despite the fact that this is the 4th time I've had to take my car in to get repaired in the past 8 months since I got it, I am still feeling pretty good about the whole thing. The $5 tip gave me some good karma that I was able to cash in on in my time of need.

So now I feel like I need to keep the good karma rolling, you know? To me, karma is like a steam engine. Good or bad, the karma you accrue will lead to more karmic situations down the road, so keep it going in the right direction and all will come your way. The past year has not been a particularly good year for me, and maybe it's because I haven't been good enough to my fellow peers. Well that's all changing now, and I am feeling better and better about it as the days go by.

There is so much more to write about, but I will save it for later. For now, I'm going to watch the HBO series John Adams and learn how the revolution started. Happy Friday!

New Horizons

So wow, I've spent the entire summer chilling out, working some, sleeping a lot, and generally relaxing and withdrawing from all that stressed me out last year (including many of my so-called Co-op friends). It was nice, getting away from it all, and the 2 week family excursion to Hawaii at the end of August really topped it off, but now it's back into the fray.

One more class (Zen Buddhism) and I'll have my diploma. Working two jobs is intense--I just got hired as the ICC's "Alumni Assistant" on top of the old computer lab job--but hey, I'll be doin pretty well come payday this Friday. Remembering my responsibilities as a NASCO Board member ain't easy either, especially because there are very few reminders in my every-day life about it. But Institute is coming up, the ICC Founders are being inducted to the Hall of Fame, and it's the 75th anniversary of Student Housing Co-ops, marking the birth of Mich House, so everything sort of seems to be meshing together and becoming indistinguishable from each other. It's nice when that works out...

I want to move to Austin. Yes, I want to live in Texas, where the summers are hot, the cattle are big, and the trucks are bigger. Why? 2 reasons: I gotta get the fuck out of Ann Arbor, and I've always wanted to live in Austin. Understand that Austin is a lot like Ann Arbor, a liberal bubble in a sea of conservative rednecks. Only where Michigan is like the gulf of Mexico, Texas is like the Pacific Ocean. Bigger ocean equals bigger bubble equals more cool people and fun times. South by Southwest. Austin City Limits. They say Austin is the live music capital of the world. I'm excited.

So come January, with any luck I'll be hitting the road and heading on down to the Lone Star State. If you miss me now, hit me up before it's too late. I may never return.... (though that is pretty unlikely :P)

Yep. My life is interesting. At least to me it is..... y'all probably stop reading after the first sentence. That's ok. I only write these to keep myself occupied at work.

Back in Business

I just realized that I've been back in town for about a week and a half now, but I haven't really written anything about my trip! All you guys have seen is a photo album and some random activity here and there... so if you please, allow me a moment of your time to give you the low-down on where I've been and what I've been up to.

In case you've been living in a cave for the past few months and haven't even noticed that I was gone, I've got news for ya: I've been backpacking around Europe for pretty much the entire month of May. The first week was spent in Amsterdam with Corin, part hosteling, part couch-surfing (couch surfing is 10 times better than hosteling, by the way). The second week was spent in Paris with Kurt and Pierre. After these two stops, the whirlwind began, and I didn't spend more than 2 nights in any one place. The list is as follows: Vienna, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, Bonn, Ghent.

Ok, phase 1: Amsterdam.

Whenever anyone thinks of Amsterdam, they think of pot and prostitutes. After all, Amsterdam is the indulgence capital of the world, right? Well, not really. While yes, the ganj and the whores are a big part of the city's reputation, Amsterdam is so much more than that. Beautiful canals, friendly locals, and lively festivals make it pretty easy to break out of the normal tourist mold.

Ok, I admit, I did smoke a crap-ton of pot while in Amsterdam. And yes, it was the best pot I've ever smoked. Just let it be known that I did more than just sit around stoned while I was in Amsterdam. Museums, parks, cafés, bars, Crockets and Walk to Wok made my stay in Amsterdam a very entertaining experience.

There are two main problems with Amsterdam: First, the tourists. In the center of the city, where everything is, tourists are EVERYWHERE. I swear, the only time you'll see locals walking around the city center is in the early mornings and maybe the late afternoons, going to and from work. During the rest of the day, everyone on the street (and there are a lot of people) is a tourist--or at least not a Dutch native. It's pretty intense.

The other main problem with Amsterdam is the cost. It is very difficult to find affordable consumables in Amsterdam. Coffeeshops (sketch and non-sketch alike) usually charge upwards of 2.50€ just for an espresso! Beer is also expensive, where you can get 25cls (half a pint, more or less) for 2-3€. It's kind of ridiculous. Even the supermarkets were more expensive than supermarkets in other parts of Europe!

But yeah, it's still relatively easy to find spots not too crowded with tourists, and so if you're willing to spend some money, and you can handle a city where every square meter is commercialized, you should visit Amsterdam.

Phase 2: Paris

Paris is big. I spent a lot of time in subways and subway stations, which is fun because every time I left a station, it was like being in a new world. I saw it all: The Eiffel Tower, the Champs Elysees, The Louvre, The Arc de Republique, Notre Dame, and I even participated in a public demonstration during the Presidential election! Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité!

I really enjoyed Paris, Kurt and Pierre were both great tour guides, and it was really fun seeing them again. I'm not a big fan of touristy stuff, but if you are, Paris has it all. It's also got plenty of non-touristy stuff, if you know where to look. The city is so big, though, you have to take the subway to get anywhere.

There is a lot to do in Paris, and it's pretty easy to save money too. Most museums have days of free entry, usually certain Mondays of the month. There are plenty of sights to see that are free to look at too. Unfortunately I didn't get much of a chance to experience the Parisian nightlife, but I hear it's good.... :P Paris also has awesome bakeries, produce, and other tasty foods.

The only drawbacks to Paris--and to France in general--is that not many people speak English, and there aren't really any one-stop food shopping places. I find it very interesting how attached the French are to their language. If you don't even try to speak French to them, usually they won't try to speak English to you, even if they're fluent. So if you go to Paris, learn some French, or at least Bonjour and Parlez Vous Englais?

As far as food goes, food shopping takes a while. First you have to go to the dry goods store. Then the frozen goods store. Then the bakery. Then the produce market. Then the sweets store. The list goes on and on. There really aren't any Walmarts or Meijers where you can just buy everything you need at one place. I guess this is good because it means the stores sell better products (especially the bakeries and produce markets), but it's a hassle trying to find everything you need--especially if you're not familiar with the area.

So yeah, Paris was nice. I don't think I'd want to live there though, French isn't my language--I just can't get those rrrrrrs!--and the city is just too big. I can handle big cities, but not for that long--and not that big...

Phase 3: Vienna

Out of all the "touristy" destinations of my trip, Vienna was my favorite. Beautiful sights, amazing history, friendly people, affordable prices, and a language that's a bit more comprehensible made Vienna a great destination. Early Spring is the best time to go. When I was there, the city was in the middle of the Vienna Festival (or something), which basically meant cultural happenings all over town, all the time. Street performances, chamber orchestras, Bobby McFerrin was even there! (though I unfortunately did not get to see him) It was a great time.

This leg of the trip also began my first excursions as a lone couch surfer. Let me tell you, couch surfing is the only way to travel, especially when you're by yourself. Many girls I've talked to about couch surfing have expressed reservations about doing it alone, but honestly, there's nothing to worry about! It's pretty easy to tell how trustworthy someone is on the website just by looking at their profile. Is it filled out completely? Do they have good references? Do they look friendly? And on top of that, there are many single females all over the world who you can request to surf with, so it's not like you'll always be sleeping on a guy's couch. In fact, when I was in Vienna, I stayed in a flat with two girls... and I was their first couch surfer! The best thing about couch surfing is the trust inherent in the system. I want people to stay with me, so I'm going to be a good couch surfer, helping with chores, cleaning up after myself, asking permission to use anything, et cetera et cetera. This is the way most--if not all good couch surfers think. And then on the other hand, hosts don't want to fuck with their guests because they want good references so they can increase their stature on the website. It's all about trust and proving your trustworthiness. And it's totally awesome.

But yeah, Vienna. Probably what made Vienna so great was my hosts. Sigi and Maria were sooo nice, friendly, welcoming, blah blah blah, they were great. They showed me where to go on the map to see all the best sights. They took me out to the bar. They fed me tons of espresso. They took me to a play for free that Sigi was doing lighting for (a Latvian play, written in Russian, translated into German on headsets, and whispered into my ear in English by Sigi). They were great, and after that I was instantly hooked on couch surfing. Couch Surfing 4 Life, bia!

Cons of Vienna...... that's tough. I guess one thing is that their public transpo system is kind of expensive, but they've got these bike stations all over town where you can check out bikes for free and ride them around for an hour. So yeah, there really isn't a whole lot that's bad about Vienna. You should go there.

Phase 4: Prague

Prague (aka Praha, Praga, etc...) was....... kind of a disappointment for the most part. First of all, there aren't enough couch surfers in Prague, so was forced to hostel. Hosteling isn't that bad, I met some cool people from Canada, Wisconsin and Mexico, but not really anyone from Prague... and without the guide, cities just aren't as cool. I saw the Prague Castle, the Vlatava River, other historical monuments, but in my opinion, it was not nearly as beautiful as Vienna. It felt older, dirtier, and less welcoming. Maybe that was the Soviet influence, maybe it's just because the Gothic architecture didn't catch my fancy as much as the various architectural styles seen in Vienna. Maybe it's just 'cause the buildings in Vienna are all whitewashed, whereas the buildings in Prague are more natural stone colors. I don't know.

The best part of Prague was the boat party that I was invited to by a fellow Couch Surfer. This guy was having a birthday party on a boat, complete with barbeque, pasta salad, and a bar with cheap drinks. The boat was populated with many international people--couch surfers and med students--so everyone spoke English. I met a guy from Russia who was living in California but moving to Ireland or somewhere, and I met this girl from California who was living in Prague and moving to India in a month. It was fun... Except for the pouring rain that we had to walk home in, that kinda sucked.


Phase 5: Berlin

Berlin is a sweet city. With a population of 3.4 million, Berlin is probably one of the biggest cities in Europe (Paris has 2.1 million), and people weren't kidding about the eclectic variety of people and places around the city. Even just in 2 nights, I managed to meet and see a whole ton of crazy German party animals, and unlike Paris, people seemed genuinely interested in talking to me, even though I didn't speak their language.

Yep, Berlin is sweet. Check it.

Phase 6: Amsterdam Part 2

Back to Amsterdam to meet up with Erik. This time around was a big haze... lots of coffee shops (the sketchy kind), and that's about it. Smoked some good weed though.





Phase 7: Bonn

At this point, I was thoroughly exhausted with touristy destinations, so Bonn was a pleasant diversion from the norm. A smaller city south of Cologne (Köln in German), Germany, Bonn is sweet. Everyone was very friendly, there was a nice park that we chilled out in for a while, and our couch surfing host was awesome and had a crap-ton of movies, which was good because Erik was sick. So even though we probably spent most of the time in Bonn sitting around watching movies, it was still great and very relaxing. We also watched the world Club Soccer finals, Liverpool v. AC Milan. Everyone in Germany seems to dislike Italians, so we were rooting for Liverpool, but Milan won anyways. Oh well.

Phase 8 (final phase): Ghent

My second to last night in Europe I spent in a small town west of Brussels in Belgium called Ghent (the last night I spent in Amsterdam, but I arrived late and went to bed early, so...). In terms of absolute favorite places, I think Ghent tops my list. I really liked it for several reasons: First, there is a large student body, which means more people my age. Second, cars actually yield for pedestrians (which is very much untrue in the rest of Europe, it seems). Third, there aren't nearly as many tourists, and as a result, fourth, things aren't crazy expensive. On top of this, people were really nice, and the couple I stayed with, Bram and Nele, were very friendly and took me out to some bars and things. I even managed to introduce them to a new Jazz Club on a tip from another couch surfer. I wish I had been able to spend more than one night in Ghent, but alas, my funds were running very low and I had to return to America.


So that was my trip in a nutshell. There are many stories that I can tell from each location that I stopped at, so pick one and ask me. Cheers!

Worktime ramblings

Poetry ain't my strong spot, but I'm gonna try
Because I ain't got no strong pot, I ain't gonna lie.
I'm just sittin' here at my computer,
Makin a buck, testin' my luck
Tryin' to get my feet out da muck

Figure if I type some lines, work in some phat rhymes
Maybe time will pass me by, and sooner fly
Back to the home base, where I may cry
But never die.

Workin at the lab's got me straight on the flow
Sittin in the background, seein' all these people I know
But they don't notice me sittin' here
Watching them do their thing, sippin' their beer
They just pass on by, without a second thought,
Only thinkin 'bout that pot they bought
The night before.

Or maybe they do see me,
Out the corner of their eye
But give it a quick thought
And choose to pass on by.
Maybe it's 'cause they think I forgot
All the faces mixin' together like melting dippin dots

Or maybe they're just shy, just tryin' to get on by
Without me noticin', 'cause they don't wanna try
To break through emotion
Take the strange potion
Turn into a rabbit, wear the love lotion.

No, these kids they just hide
From themselves, from the world
Thinkin' they're preservin' their pride,
Don't wanna let their hair go unfurled.

But if you can't find the courage to say hi to this guy,
You better reconsider your style,
Throw your baggage in the pile,
Swim the wrong way up the Nile,
Go the extra mile.

Release your preconceptions and come say hello
Don't worry, be happy, just let the chat flow.

Cold and lonely

I have two good friends. They are both girls, and they are both in committed relationships. My only good male friend, while a fun guy to hang out with, is often a huge asshole and really pisses me off. He also lives on the other side of town, so hanging out with him is a bit of a pain. Sure, I know a lot of people, and they all purport to be my friends, but these are the only three people I seriously feel I can connect with. More and more, though, that connection is being lost.

They go off to hang out with their boyfriends ALL THE TIME. I am only secondary, the guy they hang out with if their boyfriend is out of town or on some crazy adventure. I am the fifth wheel on a four-wheel carriage. I don't want them to change, I'm glad that they have good healthy relationships. Maybe I just need to find some new friends.

I'm the kind of guy that, though I may seem like a social butterfly, hopping from event to event, social group to social group, the only situation I really feel comfortable and secure in is with one or two very good friends (or in the presence of a good girlfriend, which is very hard to find). Maybe this is why I'm so sociable, because I'm looking for this but can't find it.

I tried to settle down. I met a girl that I really thought I could connect with and enjoy spending time with, but she doesn't seem to have time for me. Every time I call her, it's always, "maybe tomorrow" or "call me later", which she rarely does. It's been practically 2 weeks since I've seen her, and my rope is at its end. Love hurts--especially when it's one-sided.

So, with no friends, no girl, and no life outside of the Co-ops, I lie here, depressed and lonely. I'm sorry I'm so picky about my friends, and I wish I could just be happy with all of the half-friendship/acquaintances that I have, but it won't be enough until I find someone that I really connect with.

I know that when my male friend reads this, he's going to tell me, "stop feeling so sorry for yourself, you're not the only one who feels this way" or something to that effect. My response is, fuck you, I'm sad, this is my way of venting my frustration.

I have a very strong feeling no one is going to read this...

Haiku

Sitting in the lab
I begin to fall asleep
Wanting to live life

Many moments pass
In the world around me
I do not notice,

I see the long view
Building bridges, making friends
The days pass me by.